Wallflower

Wallflower blooming early in spring
streaks of purple blossoms and pink;
Hidden and obscure you bloom and grow,
Ever so captivating.
May i hide with you in your secret place?
Beneath the willow tree.
Then lonely you will be no more;
despite the invisibility.
When the sun rays gently kiss your lips
No one noticed your blushing cheeks,
You danced unaware in the playful breeze,
laughing as you did a little jig.
The stars became your closest friends
as the night grew long and dreary;
Frosty crystals upon your leaves,
and i wonder: are you cold and lonely?
If only the world was a little kinder,
If only people would come a little closer.
They'd notice you before you fade,
A lonely little wallflower.

"Wallflower" by E.Y

It's a love-hate relationship : Part 2

I'm supposed to tell you how much i love dentistry now. But somehow i can't come up with 10 reasons, not even 5 or 3 or 1. This is really discouraging. I suppose i could live with it though, so here's 5 reasons why i tolerate dentistry;

  5. It'll be much easier in the future when i work, less on-calls, good pay, etc..i hope...

  4. I love studying about the human body, or biology. (Teeth is part of the body too) And we do study the whole body although not in detail. And the best thing is NO MATHS!!! :D

  3. Sometimes when you feel you're totally in the wrong course, something really nice happens, like the lecturer commending on your work. Or you found out something interesting, and keep checking your own teeth in the mirror.

  2. The people around you. Memorable moments with batchmates in the lab or clinic, laughing at our mistakes and gossiping about the doctors. Great times :)

exploring the dental chair

dr. priyantha teaching you how 2 smile

   1. Striving to do the best i can, whether in making dentures or drilling cavities. And finally when you take a step back and look at what you've done, there's a sense of accomplishment that makes it all worthwhile.

from just wax and fake teeth..

into real dentures! :)

It's a love-hate relationship : Part 1

I have a love-hate relationship with my course. Firstly, here are the top ten reasons why i hate dentistry :

  10. The faculty is so far away from my college, every time i go to class, it's like going for a hike. And it gets worse under the hot sun and heavy rain.

  9. The tons of things you have to study..it can drive you crazy!

  8. You never have enough time to relax, classes are from 8 to 5 daily, and when you get back to your room you feel like collapsing, but no, you still have alot to study. :(

  7. You look at students from other courses and you ask yourself why do you put yourself through so much torture.

  6. It's an expensive course. And they make you pay dearly for it. Like the cheek of this dummy, it costs RM230. Don't get me started on the hand piece (RM1000) or the instruments.

  5. You get more torture from the doctors; they make you repeat your cavity drilling like up to 6 times. They even do demo on students and make them bleed! Yikes!

  4. Researches have shown that dentists are highly prone to back and neck problems. Cause peering into people's mouth ain't easy. And dentists get exposed to many dangerous chemicals like mercury. So maybe we have a shorter lifespan.

  3. Believe me when i say dentistry is stressful. Not only the studying part but mostly the practical part. The projects keep coming and when you're racing against time, the lecturers may fail you and you start all over. How sad.

  2. You lose your appetite when you see stuff like this.

  1. Can you imagine just looking at people's mouth and teeth for the rest of your life?

God answers

 

It was just yesterday when i questioned God; do you ever hear my prayers? For it is not easy when you have to wait for an answer, it can really test your patience. 

The Lord reminded me once again this morning. Guess what today's Our Daily Bread passage is about? It's titled 'God's answer'. http://ymiblogging.org/2011/03/odb-gods-answers/ 

Sorry God. I shouldn't have lashed out at you like that.

I guess sometimes God's answers are not what we expected. Sometimes it involves waiting. That's the tough part. And sometimes we don't understand why or how or when. But the Lord says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8

As Habakkuk complained;

How long, O Lord, must I call for help,

but you do not listen?

Or cry out to you, “Violence!”

but you do not save? 

The Lord replied;

         Look at the nations and watch—

and be utterly amazed.

For I am going to do something in your days

that you would not believe,

even if you were told. 

This part speaks to me the most, and i shall remind myself whenever i get tired of waiting;

Though it linger, wait for it;

it will certainly come and will not delay. 

-Habakkuk 2:3

 

You don't know me

Loving this song : You don't know me-Jann Arden.

You give your hand to me
And then you say hello
And I can hardly speak
My heart is beating so
And anyone can tell
You think you know me well
But you don't know me

No you don't know the one
Who dreams of you at night
And longs to kiss your lips
Longs to hold you tight
Oh I am just a friend
That's all I've ever been
Cause you don't know me

I never knew the art of making love
No my heart aches with love for you
Afraid and shy I let my chance go by
The chance that you might love me too

You give your hand to me
And then you say goodbye
I watch you walk away beside the lucky guy
Oh you will never know
The one who loves you so
Well you don't know me

You give your hand to me
And then you say goodbye
I watch you walk away beside the lucky guy
Oh you will never know
The one who loves you so
Cause you don't know me
Oh no you don't know me
Ohh...you don't know me

Superwoman

Superwoman

In her black-white suit

She's as strong as steel, as cold as ice,

With her head held high, she struts about

Grim determination in her eyes.

Sipping coffee, she bosses around

Feared by men who salute and bow

In her red stilettos she takes her stand

Nonsense and rubbish, she'll never allow.

Superwoman

that's who she is

As strong as steel, as cold as ice,

But at night in bed she cries alone

With pain and hurt in those dark brown eyes.

Every morn in the mirror she sees

weaknesses, flaws and fragility;

Putting on a mask as the make-up comes on

Hiding the girl with insecurities.

Superwoman

as tough as she may be,

her soul's not of steel, her heart's not of ice,

Take a proper look, and see through her eyes

Away with the pretense, away with the lies.

Then maybe you'll notice

there's something more,

Something that's precious,

and worth living for.

"Superwoman" by E.Y

Flying away

Don't you wish we could fly away? Like a bird, spreading its wings and swooping through the air, so effortlessly carefree. Flying away from all your troubles, all your worries, all responsibilities and chores.
I guess King David felt the same way too. A great king who was considered wise and had a heart after God himself. Even him, felt like fleeing, when he said:

"Oh, that i had the wings of a dove!

I would fly away and be at rest-

I would flee far away and stay in the desert;

I would hurry to my place of shelter,

far from the tempest and storm."

Well, it's apt that he should write that, who wouldn't when your own son tries to kill you or when your friends turn against you, bringing a whole army to capture you. If i were him, i would want to run away and die.

Often, troubles and difficulties don't come alone, they come in series. Like 'sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga.' So people kill themselves, thinking that when they do, all their problems disappear.

I can't say that i've never thought about dying. But i would never end my own life, because it's wrong and because i'm a coward. Still, sometimes i wish God would just take me away. Take me far far away, like a bird, flying away from all earthly burdens. But He wouldn't. And you know what He told me?

He gave me the words of Paul, from Phillipians 1:21-24.

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.

If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. 

Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.

And so, I wait. Living from day to day, by His grace and His power that is made perfect in my weaknesses. As Paul says, fighting the good fight of faith. :)

Snakes and Ladders- the game of life

This is one of my favourite games when i was young. Because you don't have to do a thing but throw the dice, and lay back to watch your progress. Sooner or later, you'll reach square 100, it's just a matter of time.

Come to think of it, i am in a game of snakes and ladders right now. In dental school itself. Everyday in dental optech lab where we learn to drill and fill, i move one square at a time. Sometimes there are ladders, and i move up. Feeling tired but satisfied at the end of the day. Many times there are snakes, and i slide down back to square 1. It's really discouraging when that happens. But there's nothing i can do but keep moving forward, despite a heavy heart.

It is the game of life. Up and down, forward and backward. Only one thing remains constant; progress. Keep moving ahead, even when you've fallen. Moving towards the goal, square 100. Right now it seems so far, so unattainable. But sooner or later, i'll reach it, it's just a matter of time.

Phillipians 3: 13-14
But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Cheesecake!

Im craving for cheesecakes. And i have my sister Elaine to blame.

Ahh. Such heavenly food. We'll bake one together ya, Elaine. Wait for me! :)

Unworthy

I am unworthy. Unworthy of your love, unworthy of your mercy. Yet, you gave it all it for me, despite my unloveliness and shame. And on top of that, you know my name. You hear my cries. You see my tears, and wipe them off. But i still complain. I still grumble. I don't think i can ever be satisfied. When the going gets tough, i blame you for everything. And sometimes, i still do. But you never wavered, never left.
Who am i that i should deserve so much?
  
Psalms 139: 1-18
You have searched me, LORD,
   and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
   you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
   you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
   you, LORD, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
   and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
   too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
   Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
   if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
   if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
   your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
   and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
   the night will shine like the day,
   for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
   when I was made in the secret place,
   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book
   before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
   How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
   they would outnumber the grains of sand—
   when I awake, I am still with you.